Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
