brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
