As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
