Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i out mim tonsoeep
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