i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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