So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
