shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
