Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
