honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
