Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize