I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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