What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
