Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
