i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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