Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
