You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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