Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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