i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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