I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
