it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
