don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
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Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.