Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Acid is not a monday night drug
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.