no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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