once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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