The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
