he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
