I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize