I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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