miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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