The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
