You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
