Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
