I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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