I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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