Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
