There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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