I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
