worst night to have a conscience
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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