we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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