So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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