Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
