I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
