I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
