Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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