Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
