He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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