Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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