Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize