:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
