I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
