Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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