Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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