im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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