Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
