So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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