Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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